A man and his wife were
having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake
him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the
first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please
wake me at
5:00 AM." He left it where he
knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover
it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go
and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper
by
the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped
for these kinds of contests.
A couple drove
down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier
discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their
position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband
asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife
replied,
"in-laws
"Cash, check
or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she
fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her
purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she
replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured
this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll
never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper
thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a
spider.
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
can be so stupid and so beautiful
all at the same time.
The wife responded, "Allow
me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God
made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testamentand showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!
Bob and Mary Smith